Move Over Meatloaf

What's the anthem of our generation doing on a Library Books blog post? Helping us to introduce a new sex analogy, that's what!

In honor of Read-a-Romance Month my husband of 33 years and I decided to create a new sex metaphor using books and reading rather than baseball. The following literary alternative rejects the popular (hetero) male-centric analogy represented in the music video. It is presented here in a librarian-friendly alphabetical format, rather than a linear setup because sex doesn't always follow a simple path. We may do some things sometimes and not others. Certain acts may be reserved for special circumstances or partners. And we may take a circuitous route, or start and stop and start again before we know it's right. For all these reasons literary analogies have much more to offer than the tired old four-bag sequence of America's second-favorite pastime. 

This list demonstrates anticipation, frustration, excitement, pleasure (and of course climax) among many other emotional states.

Acknowledgements: After the deed is done, thank yous all around.

Author Photo: Profile Picture (which perhaps flatters the subject just a bit) (See also Cover Art).

Book Review: Bragging and exaggerating after the fact.

Bookmark: To be used when the act is interrupted at any stage; we may have a chance to come back to it (or not) once the baby is fed, the phone is answered, or the dog is let out.

Cliff's Notes: Speed dating.

Comfort Read: The one you know will always there waiting to make you feel good (See also Reread).

Cover Art: The dating profile (let's face it, we do judge a book by its cover). (See also Author Photo).

Dedication: To the One I Love.

Epilogue: Was there a call back, a second, third, fourth date? Did they live happily ever after?

First fifty pages: The point at which you can decide to continue or give up (according to the librarian's librarian Nancy Pearl) and remember, if you are over 50 years old you can subtract one page for each year. Also there is really nothing magical about 50 pages. Consent can be revoked at any time.

Footnotes or citations: Giving credit to things you learned elsewhere.

Foreword: Foreplay.

Introduction: First date.

Index: Where was that spot?

Preface: Any of a number of activities that can be undertaken as a prelude to passion. 

Prequel: When you got it right the second time around (See also Sequel or series).

Reread: Falling back on an old favorite (See also Comfort Read).

Second (third, fourth, etc.) editions: After a bit of time we gain some perspective.

Sequels or series: The ones you can't get enough of (and how about all those things we read while we wait for the next installment?) (See also Prequel).

Signed copies: A good memory of a magical encounter - you know you will probably never meet again but you've been provided some masturbation fodder for a long time to come.

Teaser: When you think there is more to come, but sadly discover that it is just a preview of the next novel. 

The End: Finishing - it doesn't count unless all parties involved get there.

Blogger (left) pictured here with Nancy Pearl

Straight Up (the movie)

When gay OCD Todd (James Sweeney) begins straightening out some mis-ordered books in the college library Rory (Katie Findlay) understandably assumes he works there. The two strike up a conversation and begin dating as Todd explores his hetero side. Well matched intellectually, neither is particularly interested in having sex.  

 An unexpectedly sweet love story. 

Mobile Library - by David Whitehouse

Mistreated by his father, and missing his only friend Sunny, Bobby takes off on a road trip with Val Reed and her daughter Rosa in a recently de-commissioned bookmobile. Val had been charged with the weekly cleaning of the Mobile Library and allowed Bobby and Rosa to come with her while she worked so they could read books (and take some home, as long as they brought them back). As she works, Val explains to the children that not all mobile libraries are trucks; in some parts of the world they use animals. In Kenya they use camels and in Zimbabwe they have a library cart pulled by a donkey and in Thailand they use elephants. Val also explains that in Norway they have a library boat that "can take the books to all of the old people who live on little islands" (see my post on Swamplandia! for a fun library boat read) and more about book mobiles can be found here. 

Val makes clear to Bobby that she is not the librarian, although she wishes she were. She does tell a gas station clerk that she is the librarian when he questions her about driving the big truck "I wouldn't make much of a truck driver with these little, feminine arms, now would I?" she offers by way of explanation. Neither is she afraid to shush like a pro those who say inappropriate things.

When Val learns that the mobile library service has been stopped "because it costs too much money" the she decides to take the children off on an adventure, disguising the truck with some stolen paint. Val's biggest concern with the closing of the mobile library was the loss of  "the stories...[and] discoveries they had made in them...they had cheered a victorious hero and willed a villain's comeuppance...Parts of themselves they'd never noticed absent, concealed in the ink on the page". Bobby likewise had pangs of missing the library even before it closed.

Despite the many ways his imagination had been opened up by the mobile library, he could not imagine wanting to be anywhere else, with anyone else. The mere thought of it filled his bones with the inexorable ache of yearning.

In addition to missing his friend Sunny Bobby is also missing his mother, who left the family some time before. Bobby had been collecting pieces of his mother's clothing, hair, and other relics so that when she returned they would be able recreate everything just as it had been. Bobby considered himself his mother's archivist, and kept his files hidden under his bed. They are the only thing he takes with him from home when he starts on his grand adventure.

There are a lot of references to other works (mostly children's books) both subtle and overt in this one.

Monumental Mobility: The Memory Work of Massasoit - by Lisa Blee & Jean M. O'Brien

I read this for a faculty book discussion at the university where I work. It has local interest as the original statue of Massasoit (8sâmeeqan) is located on Coles Hill in Plymouth, Massachusetts about 20 miles from the university. Created by artist Cyrus Dallin in 1921 to commemorate the 300th anniversary of the landing of the Pilgrims, replicas of the statue can now be be found in Dayton, Ohio; Kansas City, Missouri; Provo Utah; Springville, Utah and on the lawn of the Howard B. Lee Library at Brigham Young University (BYU), where students refer to the monument as "the naked Indian" and are scandalized over that fact that 8sâmeeqan doesn't adhere to BYU's dress code. One student with whom the authors spoke suggested that the statue be moved near the gym "to align with student-athletes in their sometimes-skimpy BYU-issued gym shorts". However, the student also pointed out that such a location "could be interpreted as the rival university's 'Ute' mascot and serve as target practice...".  

The original statue was commissioned by the Improved Order of Red Men, a fraternal organization still in existence and "limited to physically, mentally, and morally sound" white men. Its headquarters are located in Waco, Texas, and the authors made good use of its research library there. The Red Men Museum and Library also owns some 11-inch replicas of the statue commissioned as a fund-raising effort just before the statue's unveiling.

It was certainly an interesting time to read and discuss this book, not only because we are now recognizing the 400th anniversary of the Pilgrims' landing, an anniversary celebration that has been in the works for many years, and will now take place virtually, but also because we are witnessing the destruction of monuments to colonizers, and taking part in a larger discussion of the meaning of monuments to those who build them, those who visit them, and those who remove them.

The final chapter of the book "Marketing" explores how the statue has been exploited, along with other memorials, to make Plymouth a tourist destination - America's Hometown (and I know some Washingtonians who would dispute that moniker). The authors describe several tours available to tourists, some that provide a Pilgrim-centric view, and others that "challenge...expectations for a celebratory settler origin story." The traveling exhibit Captured! 1614 opened in 2014 in the Plymouth Public Library. 

Created under the guidance of Mashpee Wampanoag Paula Peters with a team of Wampanoag designers, researchers, and historical interpreters...the exhibit panels and series of short films...Captured! 1614 presents the Patuxet Wampanoag perspective on the slaving expedition of Thomas Hunt, who seized twenty men and boys from Patuxet, including Tisquantum...for sale in Spain...According to Peters, the reception of the exhibit has been overwhelmingly positive among Wampanoag communities and non-Indian viewers.

Excellent scholarship written for everyone.

Teeth (the movie)

I know I watched this film about a chaste teenage girl who discovers that she has vagina dentata at least two times before, but those were obviously before I started this blog. I read something recently that indicated a library connection and so I put it back on my Netflix DVD list.

When Dawn (Jess Weixler) suspects something is different about her body she does what anyone in the 21st century would do and begins her research by conducting a web search. She types "female genital mutilations" into the search engine which lands her a screenful of results. However, unlike everyone else she doesn't just click on the top link, but rather selects the the trusty link from the public library "your source to information". It is not clear if the link is from the Austin (TX) public library where the story takes place. It seemed more to be a generic public library link. 

Definitely not a film for the squeamish. It will likely appeal to fans of Little Shop of Horrors.

La biblioteca mágica - por Valeria Cavajal Vasco

According to amazon I bought this book on April 30, so I must have purchased it for Día de los niños/Día de los libros (aka "Día" or Children's Day/Book Day). I do recall specifically looking for a library-centric, Spanish-language book to read. I usually pick a picture book to blog about for Día but this year I selected a chapter book, so it took me a bit longer to read it.  This is the story of friends Emma, Park, Paige, and Liam who want to take a summer vacation together, but first they need to earn some money. Paige and Park find work at a local store, and Liam gets a job with his uncle. Emma is worried that she will be the only one who won't be earning any money, until her mother helps her land a job at the local library el "único lugar al que muy pocos adolescentes irían a pedir trabajo", as well as "el lugar más aburrido del pueblo" (for those who are Spanish-language challenged, that translates to 'the only place that few adolescents would ask for work'; and 'the most boring place in town').

Emma, however, discovers that the library is far from boring. In a library lover's version of Night at the Museum Emma learns that those who work the night shift have the ability to visit the characters in the books. Beginning with Caperucita roja (Little Red Riding Hood), she moves on to Peter Pan,  Harry Potter; and Crepúsculo (Twilight), among others. From each book she also brings back a souvenir (Red Riding Hood's Cape and Peter Pan's sword, for instance). Far from boring, Emma finds that she not only looks forward to going to work in the library she is more interested in her work than in hanging out with her friends. She is reluctant to tell them about the library's secret until she learns that the mayor wants to close the library because nobody visits it, and it isn't a money maker. With the help of her friends and the other library employees, she comes up with a plan to save the library.

I must say I was left a little wanting with the resolution they came up with which I saw as stop gap at best, and had nothing to do with magic. No one wanted to reveal the library's secret for fear of exploiting it. However, if I were writing the ending to this book the friends would have sparked interest in the library, and helped it to make money without letting anyone in on the secret by  strategically visiting books, bringing back cool relics, and selling them. In fact I thought this solution was so obvious I really was stunned that it wasn't how the book ended.

Nothing to See Here - by Kevin Wilson

When her frenemy Madison Roberts contacts Lillian Breaker and asks her to come to Tennessee from her home in Pennsylvania, offering her a mysterious job, Lillian accepts. She takes the bus to Nashville where she is met by the enigmatic Carl who works for Madison and her senator husband, Jasper.  Upon arrival at the estate where Madison lives with her toddler son (Timothy) and husband Lillian learns that the senator has two children (twins) from a previous marriage, whose mother had recently killed herself. The twins (Bessie and Roland) have an unusual affliction wherein they burst into flames when upset. The fire does not hurt them, but can be dangerous to people, animals and things near them. They are coming to live with Madison, Timothy, and Jasper. Madison wants Lillian to be their governess. Fortunately for Lillian the twins like to read. In fact, as Roland points out to Lillian when he first saw the well stocked bookcase Madison provided for the twins "all we do is read".  And although Bessie informs Lillian that she'd already read many of the books on the shelf some of them looked "pretty good". Lillian wastes no time in telling them that they can get more books at the library.

And good on her promises, Lillian asks Carl to drive them all on an outing to the library so they can research famous Tennesseans. Bessie chooses Dolly Parton and Roland  decides on World War II hero Sargeant Alvin York. They find the books they want when they get to the library, but soon realize that none of them has a library card. Carl points out that that they need proof of address "like a piece of mail" to get one, and none of them have a piece of mail with them. It seems to me that Carl must have had a driver's license but he never suggests that. He does tell them that Madison is on the Board of Trustees and that they can come back later with her card. Instead they just decide to steal the books. I expect that if they had simply asked to call the senator's wife, who was also a library board member, they could have gotten permission to check the books out, but no one thought of this solution.

It is always best to ask about policies for checking out books. Librarians really do want you to get the information you need.